Phew!
So today since, I've finally accumulated enough regular income to start paying bills regularly, I used the time after school to:
-schedule my classes for spring quarter
-update my Bills excel Spreadsheet
-got current on 3 of 5 credit cards
-arranged to be current on all 5 credit cards again by April
Now, I've gotta
-e-file my taxes using the IRS site
-begin the outline for this paper due in two weeks....if i think about how big this paper is, i'll freak out and never get started...
i feel so much better now getting up to date on my debts and preparing for the future. I'm nervous because I set up some large debt pay-off transfers for this month, but as long as I watch my spending, i'll meet them.
Also, before when I didn't have regular income, I had a hard time spending on things other than food and gas since I had no idea when the next time I'd have money would be and I needed food and gas first. I had to let go of that feeling so I could pay these bills, and I'm still a little nervous. After last year's shaky financial status, it's hard to shake the feeling of never having enough...
Friday, February 29, 2008
5 Things I Like About Being a Waitress
1. I can work short hours and make enough to pay my bills.
2. I get paid to exercise (ie. lift wights and run around and sweat)
3. I get more money for flirting and/or being a smart-ass depending on the table.
4. I can take night or day classes and work lunch or dinner.
5. I can make more or less money at any time by taking more shifts or working later.
umm...that's all I can think of for now. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of my job. I'm a little stressed today between three jobs and school.
I want a whole day to just lie around and cuddle and not worry about assignments and papers...someday...
2. I get paid to exercise (ie. lift wights and run around and sweat)
3. I get more money for flirting and/or being a smart-ass depending on the table.
4. I can take night or day classes and work lunch or dinner.
5. I can make more or less money at any time by taking more shifts or working later.
umm...that's all I can think of for now. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of my job. I'm a little stressed today between three jobs and school.
I want a whole day to just lie around and cuddle and not worry about assignments and papers...someday...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Women, Preserve Yourselves.
When an old relationship of mine was failing, I turned to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and one thing that struck me was Dr. Grey's idea that women have gas tanks - we love to give and care for those in our lives and after a while the gas runs out unless someone refuels us by giving us the care and love we need back. Men have no idea how true this is. Women have no idea how true this is.
I haven't had a chance to catch up with my good friend, L, in a long time so I gave her a call today. Usually we're both just busy, lately it's hard sometimes to get her full attention because she's still honeymooning in her relationship and everything is about her boyfriend these days. I understand, I've been there. In fact, she used to hate my ex-boyfriend, in part because I gave him all my attention at the time.
She didn't sound too good. You know how you can tell your friends aren't alright as soon as they say "hello"? I'd known that she'd been helping her relatively new boyfriend deal financially with various traffic tickets, court dates, his car being towed, etc. Last week, it was getting stressful and that rush of love that made her swoop in and save him was obviously waning. She'd found this week that after supporting herself in a comfortable life for many years she wasn't getting anything done for herself, she couldn't afford a haircut and was knee-deep in his-and-hers debt...
"I'm so frustrated. I feel like we're married and we're not. He's starting to feel like a burden to me and I don't want to feel this way."
Every woman I know gets this way. They go all out of their way to spend their time with a man, and help him clean, or pay for things, or do any number of nice things because they care. There's nothing wrong with that. But if the effort even seems one-sided, you get one unhappy woman and sometimes this woman doesn't even know why. She did all these things for the man she loves out of the love in her own heart and went out of her way and felt crappy when he didn't go out of his way for her, sometimes because he couldn't, didn't know how, or didn't even know he was supposed to "go out of his way" he was just loving her the way he usually did.
Who's fault is this?
My girl was starting to resent her man for needing so much from her, but she gave it to him. I firmly believe that often, men will get away with what you allow, they will take everything you are willing to give. I believe that women need to learn how to set boundaries for themselves before they resent the one they love. I told my girl that perhaps, this was the lesson she needed to learn, and she needed to ask herself from here on out, "If i do this for him, will i resent him later?"
Will you resent him later??
Women start to often think that if he gave her flowers once or twice that he suddenly deserves her continuous utmost effort (which often leads to her prioritizing him over her), thinking that they will receive in return ultra-special treatment, while their man is thinking he did a great job and is still getting what he wants done by being a normal boyfriend.
Stop!!!
It is not your lover's fault, because it is not his responsibility to handle your responsibilities. But neither is it your responsibility to handle his. If you drive to see him/help him pay his bills/buy some groceries/pay for dinner instead of doing homework/saving money/getting alone time will you resent him? You'll ruin a relationship with the resentment you allowed to creep in. Don't put yourself out in love if it's going to decrease your love later. Take care of yourself first. Preserve yourself and then love him.
I haven't had a chance to catch up with my good friend, L, in a long time so I gave her a call today. Usually we're both just busy, lately it's hard sometimes to get her full attention because she's still honeymooning in her relationship and everything is about her boyfriend these days. I understand, I've been there. In fact, she used to hate my ex-boyfriend, in part because I gave him all my attention at the time.
She didn't sound too good. You know how you can tell your friends aren't alright as soon as they say "hello"? I'd known that she'd been helping her relatively new boyfriend deal financially with various traffic tickets, court dates, his car being towed, etc. Last week, it was getting stressful and that rush of love that made her swoop in and save him was obviously waning. She'd found this week that after supporting herself in a comfortable life for many years she wasn't getting anything done for herself, she couldn't afford a haircut and was knee-deep in his-and-hers debt...
"I'm so frustrated. I feel like we're married and we're not. He's starting to feel like a burden to me and I don't want to feel this way."
Every woman I know gets this way. They go all out of their way to spend their time with a man, and help him clean, or pay for things, or do any number of nice things because they care. There's nothing wrong with that. But if the effort even seems one-sided, you get one unhappy woman and sometimes this woman doesn't even know why. She did all these things for the man she loves out of the love in her own heart and went out of her way and felt crappy when he didn't go out of his way for her, sometimes because he couldn't, didn't know how, or didn't even know he was supposed to "go out of his way" he was just loving her the way he usually did.
Who's fault is this?
My girl was starting to resent her man for needing so much from her, but she gave it to him. I firmly believe that often, men will get away with what you allow, they will take everything you are willing to give. I believe that women need to learn how to set boundaries for themselves before they resent the one they love. I told my girl that perhaps, this was the lesson she needed to learn, and she needed to ask herself from here on out, "If i do this for him, will i resent him later?"
Will you resent him later??
Women start to often think that if he gave her flowers once or twice that he suddenly deserves her continuous utmost effort (which often leads to her prioritizing him over her), thinking that they will receive in return ultra-special treatment, while their man is thinking he did a great job and is still getting what he wants done by being a normal boyfriend.
Stop!!!
It is not your lover's fault, because it is not his responsibility to handle your responsibilities. But neither is it your responsibility to handle his. If you drive to see him/help him pay his bills/buy some groceries/pay for dinner instead of doing homework/saving money/getting alone time will you resent him? You'll ruin a relationship with the resentment you allowed to creep in. Don't put yourself out in love if it's going to decrease your love later. Take care of yourself first. Preserve yourself and then love him.
Monday, February 18, 2008
alright, so maybe the brokeness is not over...
i needed a $5 book off amazon for a research paper i'll be working on and i checked my account to find that:
i have $47 to my name.
i also have $75 in savings, but the point is to not spend that.
Gah. I had $600 at the beginning of the month. Where did it all go? I know it wasn't much, but that's exactly why it so terrible that i just did not keep track of it. I want to start jotting down everything I spend my money on. I started out by saving all my receipts....also, my bank statements are readily available online...i need to force myself to look at all that though, and therein lies the hard part.
I've gotten a little better at discerning the difference between what you want and what you need, but I need to stop justifying wants into needs:
-i wanted to get my best friend a moderately expensive birthday present because she's really helped me out the last couple of months
-i wanted new books because they were on sale and were relevant to what i've been trying to do in my life
-i bought drinks at dinner and totally inflated my bill because i felt like i "needed" a drink
You get the idea. And of course, the answer is to spend less than i earn and save a little of it.
It's difficult because I grew up in a middle-class family, I got everything I wanted almost all the time, my parents can't budget or save well and neither did they teach me, and now I'm trying to teach myself and I've already developed bad habits.
Well, I have $47 and I have to start living within my means right now.
i have $47 to my name.
i also have $75 in savings, but the point is to not spend that.
Gah. I had $600 at the beginning of the month. Where did it all go? I know it wasn't much, but that's exactly why it so terrible that i just did not keep track of it. I want to start jotting down everything I spend my money on. I started out by saving all my receipts....also, my bank statements are readily available online...i need to force myself to look at all that though, and therein lies the hard part.
I've gotten a little better at discerning the difference between what you want and what you need, but I need to stop justifying wants into needs:
-i wanted to get my best friend a moderately expensive birthday present because she's really helped me out the last couple of months
-i wanted new books because they were on sale and were relevant to what i've been trying to do in my life
-i bought drinks at dinner and totally inflated my bill because i felt like i "needed" a drink
You get the idea. And of course, the answer is to spend less than i earn and save a little of it.
It's difficult because I grew up in a middle-class family, I got everything I wanted almost all the time, my parents can't budget or save well and neither did they teach me, and now I'm trying to teach myself and I've already developed bad habits.
Well, I have $47 and I have to start living within my means right now.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
the brokeness is over!
...but is regular sleep over too??
I finally did it, I finally obtained myself some employment that will pay all the bills I have leftover from the last time I had employment that paid my bills. I am your friendly neighborhood waitress once again - lookin' cute and serving out the drinks and the meals.
Pros:
-makin' the moneyz. payin' the bills.
-a job that works around my school schedule
-if i need to switch something up, i'll be able to switch with a coworker
-it's located about midway between the triangle that is my house, my lover's house, and school.
-i'm ridiculously good at this....i think.
Cons:
-serving again, i'm hoping the customer quality will be better at this restaurant
-sometimes i get tired of catering to someone's every whim
-it will take some time to get back up to the level of energy it takes to do this
-i'd rather stick to office work, cuz serving food gets messy sometimes.
I'm very excited, cuz while i do currently maintain an office job on campus that i love, it pays nowhere near enough to pay my bills. i'm really tired of getting calls from my creditors - believe me, i would pay you all if i had the money. and now i can finally get my credit score back up to where it was.
I've spent the last eight months stressing, crying, ignoring, fighting bouts of depression over where the next $100 was going to come from to put food in my mouth and gas in my car to get to the next interview and maintain the carefree-looking lifestyle i had acquired. i've hid my despairs quietly and then spilled guts to my closest friends when i couldn't keep my fears to myself. i've tried to escape into delirious highs in order to pass the unemployed time and feel better just for a little while. i almost called my ex-boyfriend because i thought he cursed me to this jobless doom. My life was still relatively sweet, but not paying your bills, not having any savings, and worrying about the next dollar sucks. it sucks ass.
So thank Jesus. I finally charmed the pants off someone just enough for them to give me a chance and hire me on the spot.
I'm a little afraid because I anticipate living out of my car as I will constantly be shuttling between my home, school, work at school, my lover's home, and this new job. I treasure my rest and I definitely want to pass this quarter so I'm wondering how I will fit rest and studying/homework in. And I don't see my family too much as it is. Also, I have a side project going on that I'm helping with that I really don't want to fall by the wayside. Plus, besides those annoying phone calls (NOTE: do not EVER put your cell phone number on a credit card application. They will call you all fuckin' day long.), I've kinda gotten used to floating by on the small reserves of cash I've been able to get a hold of, and its going to take a while to get up to the level of energy it's going to take to maintain the crazy college schedule I've created for myself. And I won't quit my school job, cuz I need the office experience on my resume, and my job is super cool.
Fuck this shit, I just gotta do it. Wish me luck.
I finally did it, I finally obtained myself some employment that will pay all the bills I have leftover from the last time I had employment that paid my bills. I am your friendly neighborhood waitress once again - lookin' cute and serving out the drinks and the meals.
Pros:
-makin' the moneyz. payin' the bills.
-a job that works around my school schedule
-if i need to switch something up, i'll be able to switch with a coworker
-it's located about midway between the triangle that is my house, my lover's house, and school.
-i'm ridiculously good at this....i think.
Cons:
-serving again, i'm hoping the customer quality will be better at this restaurant
-sometimes i get tired of catering to someone's every whim
-it will take some time to get back up to the level of energy it takes to do this
-i'd rather stick to office work, cuz serving food gets messy sometimes.
I'm very excited, cuz while i do currently maintain an office job on campus that i love, it pays nowhere near enough to pay my bills. i'm really tired of getting calls from my creditors - believe me, i would pay you all if i had the money. and now i can finally get my credit score back up to where it was.
I've spent the last eight months stressing, crying, ignoring, fighting bouts of depression over where the next $100 was going to come from to put food in my mouth and gas in my car to get to the next interview and maintain the carefree-looking lifestyle i had acquired. i've hid my despairs quietly and then spilled guts to my closest friends when i couldn't keep my fears to myself. i've tried to escape into delirious highs in order to pass the unemployed time and feel better just for a little while. i almost called my ex-boyfriend because i thought he cursed me to this jobless doom. My life was still relatively sweet, but not paying your bills, not having any savings, and worrying about the next dollar sucks. it sucks ass.
So thank Jesus. I finally charmed the pants off someone just enough for them to give me a chance and hire me on the spot.
I'm a little afraid because I anticipate living out of my car as I will constantly be shuttling between my home, school, work at school, my lover's home, and this new job. I treasure my rest and I definitely want to pass this quarter so I'm wondering how I will fit rest and studying/homework in. And I don't see my family too much as it is. Also, I have a side project going on that I'm helping with that I really don't want to fall by the wayside. Plus, besides those annoying phone calls (NOTE: do not EVER put your cell phone number on a credit card application. They will call you all fuckin' day long.), I've kinda gotten used to floating by on the small reserves of cash I've been able to get a hold of, and its going to take a while to get up to the level of energy it's going to take to maintain the crazy college schedule I've created for myself. And I won't quit my school job, cuz I need the office experience on my resume, and my job is super cool.
Fuck this shit, I just gotta do it. Wish me luck.
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